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I am terrible at braiding hair or remembering to sign the thousands of papers that come home every day stuffed into four different backpacks.

But at night? This is still something I can do, what my own mother did for me all of those years ago. I can make space.

Liz is a mama, yogi, writer, warrior, wanderer, dreamer, doubter, and hot mess. She lives in a creaky old house in Central New York with her ever-patient husband, their four babies, and an excitable dog named Boss, and shares her stories on lizpetrone.

Share on Facebook. Become A Contributor. But I feel like this is something I need to do, and there is a good reason.

For about three months she was able to introduce me to her body in privacy. Then it was that my father decided to remain at home to do all of his studying.

It was a strong emotional relationship. I was her confidante and sympathizer. I thought that my father was an evil, awful man. I felt that I was closer to my mother than he was.

I would tell my mother what to wear, what to cook for supper, what to say etc. I was always complimenting her on her looks and her person, demeanor, etc.

She wanted this from me she needed it from someone , and in return for this personal attention she would pay attention to my wants not needs.

If I wanted a chocolate bar she gave it to me. If I wanted pizza, she made it for me. She spoiled me and made me first in her life.

This, of course, created tension with my father who was supposed to be first in her life. The problem was that he wanted me to be with her because he knew it made her happy he even told me this and so for the most part I spent time with my mother and he left us alone.

My mother, before and after the actual incest, did dress in a revealing way toward me and would allow me to see her in her lingerie.

Who needed Playboy when I had my mother? She was not interested in my body; she only wanted me to be interested in her body.

I call what happened with my mother incest and not rape. There is a big debate among psychologist as to whether a man can be raped.

Perhaps this is true but for me it was incest. My mother waited for me to take the first move. She did, of course, present herself to me in an attractive way but in waiting for me to make the first move she smeared me with the guilt.

If I had not made the first move then she would have ignored me and eventually I would have been homeless. But in the process of becoming homeless my mother would have insured that my father and all others around her would have thought it was my fault.

My mother, in public, is a regal figure and has fooled most people and her opinion holds weight. And I needed female attention so why not pay attention to my mother.

The rewards were great-up to a point. I was spoiled and spoiled and spoiled. But my mother would sometimes have to stop spoiling me because the situation would be too obvious to everyone else.

Though I gave her emotional security, my father gave her financially security to a point, but much more than I could and so she had to please him for this reason also.

My mother taught me adultery. This was the worst thing about the incest. If I had not been emotionally involved and had somehow just remained aloof then it would have been different.

My parents taught me to go into any other relationship and stick my noise in where it did not belong.

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It was something I looked forward to every year. This tradition began when Brice and Brianna were itty bitty, during the time when you could let your children run around the neighborhood and the only thing you had to worry about was the occasional scraped knee or bump on the head from well, just being kids.

And I can still see both of them running around with all of their little friends, laughing and playing.

Just before the fireworks began, I could almost always count on talking one of them into letting me hold them because even though they loved fireworks, like most kids, the loud sound left them feeling a little uneasy.

And I loved being able to make them feel safe, and protected. Oh what I would give to still be able to protect them. This 4th of July was a lot different.

This 4th of July was spent at the hospital. As we were making our way home that evening, people all over began lighting fireworks.

I laid my head against the car window and as I watched firework after firework go off, I couldn't help but think about all of the families that were together, spending time together, laughing, playing, and just enjoying life, just as we used to.

Instead, my family was not only mourning the loss of my cousin, Brianna, we had also just said our final goodbyes to her brother, Brice.

I wasn't just sad, I was bitter. I haven't had much to say these past few days. I've been overwhelmed with so many feelings.

Never in my life have I felt this type of anger, or hurt, or pain, or sadness, or bitterness that I have felt these past few days. I'm not mad at God, I know he didn't do this.

I'm mad at the situation , I'm mad at life, and I'm mad there is nothing I can do to change this. My heart hurts so incredibly bad, especially for my aunt and uncle, Tonya and David.

What they have had to endure these last couple of weeks is unimaginable and so not fair. Someone I know put it perfectly when they said that if someone were to make a movie about what my aunt and uncle have experienced these past two weeks, people would say it's too farfetched and completely unrealistic because something like that could never possibly happen.

It just doesn't seem real. But it is. When my cousin Brianna passed, I was mad, and completely heartbroken. To lose such a sweet girl with her whole life ahead of her, was heartbreaking.

The day after her funeral, the entire Taylor family spent the evening together, eating, sharing funny stories, and released lanterns in memory of Brianna.

It was such an emotional moment but so special. By the end of the night, I think we all left with a sense of peace. We all realized our lives would never be the same and we would all miss Brianna so so much, but we knew we could get through this, together.

And I think Tonya and David felt the same. And part of the reason that they felt that way was because of Brice.

Brice had been their rock those past couple of days. Though he was hurting so incredibly bad for the loss of his best friend, his sister, he did his best to stay positive and took it upon himself to do whatever he needed to help his parents and quite frankly the rest of the family get through this.

Even at Brianna's visitation, when we were all so sad, he pulled up a video Brianna took on his phone a while back that he knew would make us laugh, and it did.

It was exactly what we needed in that moment. I think it's something we were all thankful for, that Tonya and David had Brice.

The strength that the three of them displayed together, along with their continued commitment to their faith helped all of us. But then the following Monday happened.

I received a phone call from my mom. A deer ran out in front of him, he hit it, was airlifted to UL Hospital, has had two brain surgeries and now we are just waiting.

At first, all I could do was just sit there in shock. How is this real? Just days after my aunt and uncle buried their daughter, their son is now fighting for his life?

It just didn't seem possible. And then as I learned more details of the situation, my heart shattered. Brice and his parents had just left a small memorial for Brianna at their neighbors house.

It was the one week anniversary of her wreck. Brice on one, Tonya and David on the other. As they were passing the church where they had the funeral for Brianna just days ago, my uncle spotted a deer off the road and frantically yelled at Brice trying to get his attention.

But it was too loud, and too late. His parents witnessed the entire wreck. Can you imagine? I can't. When we first went to the hospital to see him, I left with a false sense of hope.

First, he looked so good, just like Brice, only sleeping. I mean, we just lost his sister. There is no way possible we are going to lose him too.

That just can't happen. We need him, Tonya and David need him. Like Brianna, Brice was an amazing person, and I admired so many things about him.

He was the person you always wanted to be around. We could always count on Brice to lighten even the most intense situations and conversations, which happens often with the Taylor bunch, especially when you talk sports or politics.

We could also always count on him to crack a joke, which was usually in the form of poking fun of my dad or his parents, which we thoroughly enjoyed.

He was a family man, and so protective of all of us. He always made sure everyone was included, that we didn't feel like we were missing out, and made sure everyone had a good time.

He was the best big brother. His dad, David, often said that Brice was harder on Brianna than David was. It's because he loved her so much, and wanted the best for her.

Most siblings that age want very little to do with each other, but they were always together. They were best friends. He was his dad's sidekick. I loved the days when I would be out in town and would pass David in his truck and see Brice tagging along in the passenger seat.

As a parent, I know how much that meant to David. He was the son my dad never had. My dad was blessed with three girls, poor guy.

He tried his hardest to turn me into a tom boy but that lasted only a few years. As Brice got older, he and my dad spent more time together doing "guy stuff".

You know, shooting guns, hanging out at the property, and doing whatever guys do. I was always so thankful my dad had Brice.

And so thankful Brice made time for him. That's the thing with Brice, he wasn't like most 20 year olds. He had his friends, but enjoyed hanging out with his family just as much.

As the days passed, Brice's condition continued to get worse, and then reality sank in- Brice isn't coming home.

My shock turned into sadness, which made me angry, and bitter. Bitterness is a feeling I don't think I have ever felt before. I've always been a glass half full kinda girl, always seeing the good in even the worst situation and always happy for others.

But boy was it hard this time. The happiness was sucked right out of all of us. I didn't want to be around anyone or anything happy because happy wasn't a feeling I or any of us have been feeling, and it's still hard.

I became bitter when I would overhear people have conversations about day to day life, funny things that had happened, and getting aggravated over petty things.

I've had to refrain from scrolling through my FB news feed because it would make me so bitter seeing statuses and pictures of people being happy and having fun.

How can you have fun at a time like this? How can you be happy? Everyone else's life had continued on and ours had stopped.

Or at least that's how I felt. And I say these things not to make anyone feel bad for enjoying their life , because that's exactly what you should be doing.

It's what we all should be doing. I say these things to show how such a tragedy can temporarily change you. I don't want to be bitter, I don't want to be jealous of someone else's happiness, I long to post pictures and FB statuses of happiness, I long to complain about petty things, I long to be with my family during a happy time, having fun.

It was good for both of us and I wouldn't exchange it for anything else. We didn't have any kids, because we were careful. I wouldn't recommend it for eveeryone, but I know it is a common thing.

My daughter is a nun. When she visits me, we go to bed together and I get rid of her pent up frustrations by bonking her as hard as I used to when she was a kid.

My sister and I have a daughter. She has a lazy eye Now I'm a grandpa :. You said you are 55 with a 29yr old son, but you got pregnant at Learn how to read before trying to call someone out.

She was first pregnant at 16 and has three kids. Her youngest child is That is he youngest idiot. So don't bullshit her bullshit yourself. Actually you're the stupid one because she says their youngest is 29 and that they have two others who are older.

Read more carefully before you start slinging insults. Can you tell us who knows about you relationship. Do your children know? So you both broke away from your parents?

Its still a sin. No matter how "common" it is - the old "everyone's doing it" argument does not justify it, or make it any less sinful".

Tell us exactly where in the bible it is said that it's a sin. Even the 10 commandments say nothing about incest beign wrong.

Are you living in the middle ages? You probably believe in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and fairy tales too. Judging others is a sin, too.

And it makes you a hypocrite. As for the Original Poster, thank you for having the courage to confess and share an amazing, and deeply intriguing secret.

You don't know the difference between judgement and rebuke my friend. Your eternal destiny, and hers hangs in the balance.

I'm giving the original poster a friendly, gracious warning. I am pointing her to eternal life in Jesus Christ.

You're just venting. Please get to a Bible study as soon as possible. If you don't go to one, you go to the other. Only the pure in heart shall see God.

No hard feelings, friend. I'm just treating you the way I would want to be treated in your position. No one is,pure of heart.

Because no one is; pure of mind,pure of thoughts. So tell what is your difference between judgement and rebuke? Dumbass the person posts as anonymous there's no confidence if it's essentially a nobody posting.

Well here it goes. The real father of our 4 children is my wife's father. When we found out that I was infertile we chatted and talked it over again and agin.

We both wanted a family and have children, I did not want IVF as I had seen what effect it can have on women where it fails.

On day she confessed that she used to be her father's lover for many years and that both her mother and her three sisters knew.

I wasn't even shocked, I was so turned on and I felt so happy that there was help and a solution close to home. He father is a successful businessman and whenever he came on business into our country and town where we lived he stayed with us.

I talked with him and both my wife and I talked and subsequently the business trips and visits became more frequent and he "had" so be our guest for longer stretches of time and from then on we also were invited twice a year to join our in-laws when they went on holiday.

All the time my wife was lovingly and regularly looked after by her dad and when on holiday we did not make great effortd to hide it from my wife's Mum, who knew about it and quite obviously did not mind.

Over the next 8 years we welcomed 4 wonderful additions to our family, three girls and one boy, much to our joy and the joy of the entire family.

My sister and I began an intimate relationship when I was 11 and she was We were finally caught by our mother five years later.

She wasn't happy, but when she discovered that we had been lovers for 5 years, she gave us her okay as long as we didn't let anyone else discover us.

We eventually married other people, but we continued our secret love affair. Two of her four children were conceived from our intimate affair.

Our secret love affair is now going on 43 years strong and we always look forward to our special time together.

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After Susan had several meetings with Today started out great ad turned I just turned I went to college and Alright, I'm 13 years old and really This was something I almost posted on My wife enjoys her nights out with her I must preface this by saying I have My secret I am a 55 year old mother of three kids.

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